I started training at my new job today. I feel incompetent right now. I know it is only my first day and I can’t be expected to know it all and do it well, but it’s a hard adjustment…entry level…it’s hard to not know what you’re doing after fourteen years. It’s hard starting over.
But don’t get me wrong. I am incredibly thankful for the job at OS. It will meet our needs. And that is what is most important. God has provided. And He will continue to provide.
Two things I ask of you, O LORD; do not refuse me before I die: Keep falsehood and lies far from me; give me neither poverty nor riches, but give me only my daily bread. Otherwise, I may have too much and disown you and say, ‘Who is the LORD ?’ Or I may become poor and steal, and so dishonor the name of my God. Proverbs 30:7-9
But I am struggling to be content. Am I where God wants me? Am I where God wants me right now? Am I following His lead or asking Him to follow me?
I still want to look for something else. Something that offers health insurance for my family. A want or a need?
If I am honest, I want to look for something with a little more prestige. Pride. Plain and simple.
I want to look for a job that won’t drive me absolutely insane with all of the repetitive, busy work day after day after day.
I am people oriented…this job is project oriented.
I am spontaneous…this job is scheduled.
This job is everything I am not. Everything I don’t feel comfortable with.
I am not trying to borrow trouble, but this job is going to be hard…at least for me.
Tags: proverbs, proverbs 30, proverbs 30:7-9
